Murder, She Wrote

Have you noticed how our spoken language is being murdered these days? Just yesterday a friend told me she has stopped listening to a local radio show because they had changed the floormat. Another told me that she enjoyed a quasideli (quesadilla) when she was out for lunch. I have heard “dississipate”, “state of the ark”, “dolting over my baby”, “familiarity breeds content”, and many other such linguistic gems. Can’t people hear what they say? Or does it matter? Well, it matters to me and I am on a one-woman crusade to change it.

 For a long time we had every sentence interrupted several times with “you know.” Then it became “like”. Like, I was going, like, to the store, like, and when I got there like, it was like, closed. What’s to like about that? And now everybody seems to start a sentence with “basically.” Poor Judge Judy goes bonkers when she hears that. “No basically,” she screams at the offender. “Just answer the question!”.

Medical terms are elusive for most people. I have heard “anti-tibotics”, “ex-a-rays”, “mammyograms” and “prostrate”. Tinnis for tinnitus and brownkitis for bronchitis are quite common, as are epsilepsy and hamroids. And how about "ammonia" for pneumonia?

Someone once told me about a show she had watched that was filled with “stimulated sex.” There's another kind??????

                                                             Learning to speak properly

But let's get to the real crux of the matter. These days everyone says “Me and my friend are going out”, or “Me and my boyfriend split up.” Ask them to just use the me in the sentence and they say it sounds strange. Really! But they insist that their teachers speak that way at school. And TV is the worst offender. It's “me and whatever” all the time. Perhaps we should overhaul our school system and stop watching TV.

According to protocol, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II always says “I and my husband” when she begins a sentence. However, it's probably not going to be too long before we hear her say “Me and Philip will be hosting a tea at the Palace.” When that happens my crusade will be over. I'll know when I'm defeated.
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From "Doggerel"
c Anya Laurence 2000

The Schnauzer

My Schnauzer loves frankfurters, the hog...

So I just sit and watch dog eat dog.

Until two weeks from now... when I will be blogging about unspeakable things...enjoy life!