EXCITEMENT,EXCITEMENT, AND MORE EXCITEMENT!!!!!

I am so excited this week that I hardly know where to begin. Emotions have been at a high and there's just so much to talk about. Yes, you guessed it. The Kardashians again. Kim had a baby girl a couple of weeks ago. Her live-in (and the suspected father of the child), Kanye West, brought me to tears when I found out that he had actually proposed to Kim a few days after the birth!!! And to top it off, they named the dear little thing North. Thus, when mom and dad get married the child's name will be North West.I once saw a movie called "North by North-West." I think it starred Cary Grant.Anyway, to get on with the drama, mother Kris Jenner (Bruce Jenner's third wife) is going to have her own TV talk show.When I heard that I was absolutely delirious with joy.However, that was soon ruined by the vicious rumor that Kris and  Bruce are on the edge of divorce.This can't be true with such a perfect family. Tune in next time when I will give you the latest on the K's. I am addicted, I fear.

WE ARE MOVING!
Yes, the Rev'd and I will be taking off for Windsor, Ontario, where Andreas will become Rector of St.Matthew's Anglican Church. He begins there on September 15, and we are truly looking forward to the move.We have enjoyed our three years at Lucan and Clandeboye but it is time for a change for all concerned. The house has been up for sale for a week and we have had 4 showings and one offer.It is a bit of a strain to always be at the mercy of a realtor, but we have the best in St.Marys and she is a delight to work with. I will keep you posted on this too. In the meantime, keep well and happy.
Adios!
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From Doggerel. c 2000 Anya Laurence

The Scottie

Scottie, Scottie, trim and nifty...

Are ye careful-are ye thrifty?

Will ye mate soon with a cairn

And end up with a mixed-breed bairn?

Until next time. Anya

GUYS, BABY BUMPS and THE KARDASHIANS

Hi there! I am on another rant this week.Please bear with me and next time I will be more placid.

                                                                      These are guys.

In my last blog I told you I would write about unspeakable things so here goes.
Do all restaurants train their wait staff to call everyone "guys?" The next time I hear it I will leave the restaurant after telling the manager why. Are people really that stupid that they don't say anything to people who address them as guys? A young woman is NOT a guy. An elderly gentleman is NOT a guy. Smarten up.

The next unspeakable thing is the term "baby bump." What jackass came up with that? Leave pregnant women alone. They are not going around showing people their "baby bump." In fact, they usually like to
hide their pregnancy as long as possible.Everywhere you look these days you are confronted by that idiotic
label.Even royalty is not immune to this stupidity. Get a life.


 Baby bump.



But the last, and possibly the most unspeakable of all is the Kardashian family. These three girls (and sometimes their mother) are really over the top when it comes to self-promotion. I am not aware of any special talent that any one of them might possess, unless it is posing in exotic clothes, getting married and divorced or pushing their line of tanning gel called "Glow." They all speak so lovingly about this product that
one wonders if they take it to bed at night. They promise you will look ten pounds lighter if you have a tan; men will flock to your side if you use their product and you will feel very feminine after using Glow. Shameless self-promotion? You bet! But this gaggle of untalented gals (or guys) makes millions. Enough!
                                                                      *******************
 From "Doggerel" c 2000 Anya Laurence

Dalmatian, what to call you
With your coat suffused with dot?
Not Prince or Pal or Fido...
We'll just have to call you Spot.

Please come back in two weeks when I will be writing about more terribly important things!

Murder, She Wrote

Have you noticed how our spoken language is being murdered these days? Just yesterday a friend told me she has stopped listening to a local radio show because they had changed the floormat. Another told me that she enjoyed a quasideli (quesadilla) when she was out for lunch. I have heard “dississipate”, “state of the ark”, “dolting over my baby”, “familiarity breeds content”, and many other such linguistic gems. Can’t people hear what they say? Or does it matter? Well, it matters to me and I am on a one-woman crusade to change it.

 For a long time we had every sentence interrupted several times with “you know.” Then it became “like”. Like, I was going, like, to the store, like, and when I got there like, it was like, closed. What’s to like about that? And now everybody seems to start a sentence with “basically.” Poor Judge Judy goes bonkers when she hears that. “No basically,” she screams at the offender. “Just answer the question!”.

Medical terms are elusive for most people. I have heard “anti-tibotics”, “ex-a-rays”, “mammyograms” and “prostrate”. Tinnis for tinnitus and brownkitis for bronchitis are quite common, as are epsilepsy and hamroids. And how about "ammonia" for pneumonia?

Someone once told me about a show she had watched that was filled with “stimulated sex.” There's another kind??????

                                                             Learning to speak properly

But let's get to the real crux of the matter. These days everyone says “Me and my friend are going out”, or “Me and my boyfriend split up.” Ask them to just use the me in the sentence and they say it sounds strange. Really! But they insist that their teachers speak that way at school. And TV is the worst offender. It's “me and whatever” all the time. Perhaps we should overhaul our school system and stop watching TV.

According to protocol, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II always says “I and my husband” when she begins a sentence. However, it's probably not going to be too long before we hear her say “Me and Philip will be hosting a tea at the Palace.” When that happens my crusade will be over. I'll know when I'm defeated.
                                                  *********************

From "Doggerel"
c Anya Laurence 2000

The Schnauzer

My Schnauzer loves frankfurters, the hog...

So I just sit and watch dog eat dog.

Until two weeks from now... when I will be blogging about unspeakable things...enjoy life!

JAZZ, JAZZ and MORE JAZZ

HELLO EVERYBODY!          

This is my first blog, and being a musician, what better way to start than to do a music review?

Karen and Angus

Friday, May 10, The Art Salon of St.Marys GALA was hosted by Trevor Exner and Susan Ratz at the Black Angus Restaurant. The guest artist for the evening was Southwestern Ontario's foremost jazz diva Karen Calder.* Karen was accompanied by the wizard of the keyboard Angus Sinclair, who is known far and wide as a superb organist (he is the associate organist at the Anglican Cathedral in London). Sinclair is also in great demand as a jazz pianist, and he proved his dexterity at the keyboard on Friday night.His accompaniments were first class, as were his solo forays into different styles....a little Mozart even!

The featured star of the night was at her best, as usual, and sang without a break for ninety minutes. It was interesting to watch the audience react to her, as she moved up and down the Black Angus (bedecked that evening with local art), stopping here and there to bestow a pat on the back or even to sit with a gentleman as she sang. She knows how to work a room, and tailors her moves to the reactions of the audience. There were so many songs that I don't have room here to list them, but my favorite, “All The Things You Are,” was given a rousing performance. The people at our table loved the evening and were tapping their toes as Karen gave us one hit after another including “Satin Doll,” “Frim Fram Sauce,” “The Lady is a Tramp” and “Orange Colored Sky.” This lady is going places...and I will definitely keep track of her in my blog.

*Quote by Pauline Finch, former music reviewer for the Kitchener-Waterloo Record.

Angus, Anya, Rev'd Andreas, Karen

This was Karen's fifth time performing at the Black Angus, and owner Trevor Exner was thrilled at the turnout. Trevor's wife Susan Ratz is a fine artist in her own right. At the restaurant she produces designer cakes, and in her spare time she works in that most difficult medium...watercolors. Her art work is beautiful and she also does crafts which are real eye-catchers.

Trevor is an extremely generous gentleman, and donated a portion of the ticket sales to the Art Salon. He has been sponsoring a series of various acts for the past few years at the restaurant on Saturday nights for the people of St.Marys.He outdid himself this time by bringing Karen Calder and Angus Sinclair back.

*******

 I am going to close every blog with a rhyme from my collection,"Doggerel."

The Afghan

Look at the Afghan, so beautifully built...
You'd never suspect that he's only a quilt!
( c 2000, Anya Laurence)
                                                   
Please come back in two weeks when I will be writing about the way the English language is being spoken (murdered) these days.